The end of summer post ..

Its almost 6am in the morning, and i cant get myself to sleep. The thought of starting university again is really freaking me out. I got accustomed to the life of no responsibility, of no agenda's and no deadlines. I always critisized anyone who would waste almost the entire day sleeping and basically not doing anything productive at all, but these few weeks, i turned into a rotten vegetable, and guess what, I LOVED IT.

I loved not having to wake up soo early in the morning. I loved not having to sleep early. I loved watching the sun rise, and going to breakfast with friends at 8:00 in the morning. I loved staying up all night, listening to music, and reading books. I loved talking to my friend 3aloosh till 5:00am in the morning about absolute garbage. I just loved the fact that i let my guard down and did everything i was not accustomed to.

Summer is almost over, and when i look back at this year, i am quite astonished by how dramatic and eventful this year actually was. My friendships, relationships, the way i precieve life, the way i precieve myself. I think it is a very healthy way to start a new year, a new age, a new chapter in my life. This year was a mixture of everything i never thought i could handle. There was true happiness, sever pain, brutal backstabbing, new friendships and wild adventures. I experienced and learnt many things, things that taught me to be the person i am. And whatever that experience was, or how painful it really was, i am forever grateful. These are some of the things that i came to realize.

I realized that life was soooo GOD DAMN beautiful to be wasted on greif.
I realized that i should step up, and finally take responsibilty for my behaviours.
I realized that People always take you for granted if you let them.
I realized that if you got hurt, you should let go.
I realized that there are Hundreds of people out there who are just dying to meet someone like you.
I realized that octopus doesnt really taste that bad
I realized that Greg behrendt really knows what he's talking about
I realized that those of you who never appreciated you, arent worth your breath.
I realized that if you only let your guard down, you would really find the one for you.
I realized that POP music, is just a sad excuse for music
I realized that i look waaaay better with my eyebrows plucked and dark wavy hair
I realized that being alone is a bitch
I realized that spanish guys are FINNNEEE
I realized that there's a side of me that actually liked babies
I realized that flirting actually helps you out in some situations ;)
I realized that the only way people are going to respect you, is if you respect yourself
I realized that we will NEVER get over boy drama lol
I realized that Jennifer Aniston's movies SUCK
And I just realized that i can go on forever ..

The past few weeks, i've met a variety of people; people who have truely touched my heart, and taught me just how simple and fun life can be. If someone had asked me if i was happy 6 months ago, i would probably said yes, because to me, back then, being sucked in a drama where i knew i had to get out of was happiness. Did i believe i was happy, yes i did, why though is something i am still trying to figure out. Perhaps i was infatuated, or just scared of admitting otherwise, but only when i came to taste true serenity that i came to the conclusion that i was nothing but fooling myself. This may sound a bit cocky, but now, and only days before my 21st birthday do i feel confident, satisfied and in control. So to all of you who stood by me through these months, thank you, I am forever grateful.

A.